Kent/Feldspar

[videointhenoise]

"Just once more," they had said when Ellie's team petitioned for it. She was busy with Palmer, falling in love with science while he fell in love with God, and Kent was left to pick up the pieces. He wanted another damn go at it. The Machine had a pricetag in the billions; it was begging to be used again.

But they wouldn't let Ellie go. They wouldn't let just anyone go. They wanted someone who knew how it worked, who had been there from the beginning, but someone who isn't completely taken in by Ellie's words.

That leads them to a dozen people and they end up with Kent. He's blind, but that's not what decides it. They claim that he wouldn't hallucinate the way Ellie did. That he has a unique perspective.

And, he's already proven himself steady and loyal.

He experiences it all the way that Ellie does, but something goes wrong on the other end. Maybe another terrorist attack. Maybe not. All he knows is that he's in the sphere and then, suddenly, he's floating, unable to find his footing until a great crash and he slams into the bottom of the machine.

He groans, pulling his helmet on with a grunt and a wince.

"Fuck this," he mutters, finding the edge of the sphere with his hands. There was a door there somewhere. He just - has to find it.

Comments

[getfeldsparred]

“Yeah.”

They know that feeling.

“It’ll take time, but we’ve got that now thanks to you.”

[videointhenoise]

"Yeah," they say and they know it's because they're a coward. They couldn't see it all end. They didn't know how to.

Maybe after a while, they can go back. Maybe when everyone's ready.

"I'm going to get you both something to eat."

[getfeldsparred]

Feldspar knows there’s a lot more with their hatchling, but they nod and pull their hand back from theirs.

“Alright. Come back soon or your dad will worry.”

[videointhenoise]

They turn and kiss them on a scarred cheek.

"I will," they promise and go to give Kent a hug before leading a few of the crew out of the room.

[getfeldsparred]

Feldspar laughs quietly to themselves and brings a hand up to their cheek. It makes them feel warm and loved again, like they used to feel when the hatchling was still little and they’d had their little marriage ceremony.

[videointhenoise]

Kent waits until they're all gone before he reaches for Feldspar's arm. "Do you want to take a shower? Gossan told me where to find it."

[getfeldsparred]

They’d been scrubbed down by Esker when they’d first arrived, but that had been a harried thing. They were covered in sores and half-healed wounds, and stars, Esker had been so patient and kept the horror from their eyes as they peeled the flight suit from their body.

A shower, specially with Kent, sounded incredible.

“Yeah, I’d like that. Been a while since I’ve been able to just bathe casually.”

[videointhenoise]

"A long while, I'm sure. A waste of water." He finds the soaps and towels, tucking them close. "Take my elbow," he says, sticking it out for them.

[getfeldsparred]

They remember having to collect the water droplets from the top teeth of the anglerfish just to not die of thirst. Yeah. It’d be a waste to do anything but drink it.

They talk Kent’s elbow and hold fast. “Tell me where we’re going and I can help.”

It’s been a while though, and their touch is unsure.

[videointhenoise]

Kent tucks their hand closer to him, reminding them of how it was. "Down this hallway and then three doors to on the left.

[getfeldsparred]

Right. Right. Just like this. “Down the hallway and three doors on the left,” they repeat, the remains of their ears perking up as they poke their head out into the hall.

It doesn’t take long before Feldspar starts falling into step with Kent again, just like second nature. It’s a straight shot to the bathroom though, which has already been given a Hearthian touch of hot water through recycled pipes and a makeshift drain in the floor. Judging from the rock pile in a wooden box in the middle of the room, someone’s already trying to turn it into a sauna.

[videointhenoise]

Kent pauses by the big doorway and pats their hand. "Did - they didn't just lead us to an empty storage room, did they?" he teases.

[getfeldsparred]

They chuckle softly. “Nah, they’ve made it real nice for us. Almost looks like home.”

They freeze for a second. Home. Home is really gone for good now, isn’t it?

[videointhenoise]

He notices the pause and hesitates. "Hey. You alright?"

Kent hasn't had a home in so long that this sort of pain is one he's numbed himself to.

[getfeldsparred]

“No,” they answer honestly. “No, not even a little. But I’m here, and so are you.”

They turn and bring Kent into a weak embrace.

[videointhenoise]

Kent holds them close. "I love you," he mutters. "I love you so much."

[getfeldsparred]

Feldspar twists until their face is pressed up against Kent’s shirt. Grief has been slow to find them, especially since they’d been ready to die in the Bramble. But Timber Hearth would always been there even if Feldspar wouldn’t - the geysers and mountains, their little crater, the slanted cabins and the tall pines.

“I love you too.” They inhale softly. “I still think I’m dreaming sometimes.”

[videointhenoise]

He holds them with a gentle touch, then pulls away to try and guide them to the shower. The water will help.

"I know," he murmurs. "It'll take a long time to go away. Don't worry."

[getfeldsparred]

Feldspar manages to pull the lever for the shower as they pass, the spray coming immediately from the makeshift shower in the wall. They hold out their hand and let the water run over their palm, then carefully start to undress themselves.

“Don’t you feel that way too?”

[videointhenoise]

"I'm - really good at losing everything, Felds. Unfortunately. I'm still thinking it through."

He closes his eyes as the water hits his hands and then pulls back to undress, as well.

[getfeldsparred]

They give a full body cringe at Kent’s response. Of course. Of course Kent’s lost twice at much, two homes, two worlds, an entire culture…

“Would you have been angry at me if I’d killed myself?”

[videointhenoise]

Kent, once undressed, steps under the water and closes his eyes, letting the spray of it soak through him. "No," he answers honestly. "Sometimes that seems like the only way out. Sometimes it is the only way out."

[getfeldsparred]

It didn’t feel right not to fight, even if they were resigned to never going home.

Feldspar hesitates before stepping under the water with Kent, looking at his body with curiosity and regret. Time’s been good to him, but it’s still time that was lost between them.

“I’m glad I didn’t,” they reassure him quietly, closing their eyes as the warm water falls around them. “I got to see the Hearthian Lapis grew to be. You did that.”

[videointhenoise]

"We all did," he says and moves aside, against the wall, letting Feldspar have the water so he can stay out of the way.

"And - I'm glad you didn't, either. I'm glad to have been right," he adds with a hesitant smile.

[getfeldsparred]

No, Kent did the majority of the work. Kent made Lapis a good person, curious and generous and funny, and deeply kind. That was all Kent’s doing.

Feldspar raises their hands up to the water and lets it run over their fingers.

“Me too,” they smile.