Kent/Feldspar

[videointhenoise]

"Just once more," they had said when Ellie's team petitioned for it. She was busy with Palmer, falling in love with science while he fell in love with God, and Kent was left to pick up the pieces. He wanted another damn go at it. The Machine had a pricetag in the billions; it was begging to be used again.

But they wouldn't let Ellie go. They wouldn't let just anyone go. They wanted someone who knew how it worked, who had been there from the beginning, but someone who isn't completely taken in by Ellie's words.

That leads them to a dozen people and they end up with Kent. He's blind, but that's not what decides it. They claim that he wouldn't hallucinate the way Ellie did. That he has a unique perspective.

And, he's already proven himself steady and loyal.

He experiences it all the way that Ellie does, but something goes wrong on the other end. Maybe another terrorist attack. Maybe not. All he knows is that he's in the sphere and then, suddenly, he's floating, unable to find his footing until a great crash and he slams into the bottom of the machine.

He groans, pulling his helmet on with a grunt and a wince.

"Fuck this," he mutters, finding the edge of the sphere with his hands. There was a door there somewhere. He just - has to find it.

Comments

[getfeldsparred]

Lapis. Their gentle smile with just a hint of mischief to it, all grown up now and no longer looking youthful. They’ve been taking care of Kent for so long, still doing it actually, even now.

They’ve had the weight of the universe on their shoulders, haven’t they?

The rest of the Outer Wilds team slip into the room after them, minus the newer recruits who as far as Feldspar could tell were still a part of the crowd.

[videointhenoise]

He reaches out to feel each of the small trinkets, letting go of Feldspar in this safe place so that he knows what they are. "This room's going to be your home for a while, I think," they tell Kent and Feldspar. "Might as well make it cozy."

[getfeldsparred]

Feldspar takes the next few moments to really look at Lapis, their little hatching who had grown so much. They’re tall and strapping, handsome, ears a little tattered from all the training they must have done with Gossan and Slate. Their eyes are tired, but there’s still a familiar glint of happiness and mischief still present that Feldspar had known so well.

Lapis sits on the edge of one of the massive pieces of furniture and exhales softly. Holding themselves up with their hand to the wall, Feldspar walks up to them and tries to sit down beside them.

“What can you tell me about this place?”

[videointhenoise]

Lapis scoots closer to them. "Uh, well, a lot of it relies on light. Most of it, really. There was a dam here when I first came, but it collapsed. A lot of it is pretty unstable, but they have very strange technology. A way of playing videos through just pictures. A computer that created a simulation of a world for them."

They pause there, knowing there will be questions about that.

[getfeldsparred]

Yeah, they’re definitely going to ask about that, but there are other things they want to know first.

“How’d you find this place anyway? I remember that it was cloaked.”

They frown a little, watching as Gossan approach Kent, probably to ask more questions about Feldspar’s crash in the Dark Bramble.

[videointhenoise]

Lapis looks over to Gossan and then explains about the satellite and the photograph with the strange smudge on it. The way that the light was blocked only at that angle and only from that view. How they had traveled to the satellite and saw it for themselves.

They smile. "It took me...three loops before I finally caught the damn thing."

[getfeldsparred]

Those loops.

“I’m gonna ask you about that simulation thing in a minute, but I have to know - how many loops? How many times did you relive it all?”

They’d put most of it together from Lapis and Gabbro’s conversation, but there are still some pretty big gaps in their knowledge.

[videointhenoise]

How many times did they die.

That's the question that's being asked.

Lapis puts their hand over Feldspar's. The number is staggering.

"One hundred and seventy two."

[getfeldsparred]

One hundred and seventy two.

It takes a moment for the number and it’s true meaning to actually sink in, and when it does Feldspar’s mouth falls open and tears quickly come to their eyes. No wonder Lapis looks the way they do. No wonder they seem ancient, when in fact they’re still so young.

How many times did Lapis watch their dad die in those loops? How many times did they sit with them in the Dark Bramble? Feldspar holds Lapis’ hand and squeezes as tightly as their weak body can handle.

“You’ve got a lotta stories to tell us all, huh?”

[videointhenoise]

"Of course I do," they tell him softly. They know. The revelation is hard. "I'm - no. I'm not alright. But I'm better."

[getfeldsparred]

“Yeah.”

They know that feeling.

“It’ll take time, but we’ve got that now thanks to you.”

[videointhenoise]

"Yeah," they say and they know it's because they're a coward. They couldn't see it all end. They didn't know how to.

Maybe after a while, they can go back. Maybe when everyone's ready.

"I'm going to get you both something to eat."

[getfeldsparred]

Feldspar knows there’s a lot more with their hatchling, but they nod and pull their hand back from theirs.

“Alright. Come back soon or your dad will worry.”

[videointhenoise]

They turn and kiss them on a scarred cheek.

"I will," they promise and go to give Kent a hug before leading a few of the crew out of the room.

[getfeldsparred]

Feldspar laughs quietly to themselves and brings a hand up to their cheek. It makes them feel warm and loved again, like they used to feel when the hatchling was still little and they’d had their little marriage ceremony.

[videointhenoise]

Kent waits until they're all gone before he reaches for Feldspar's arm. "Do you want to take a shower? Gossan told me where to find it."

[getfeldsparred]

They’d been scrubbed down by Esker when they’d first arrived, but that had been a harried thing. They were covered in sores and half-healed wounds, and stars, Esker had been so patient and kept the horror from their eyes as they peeled the flight suit from their body.

A shower, specially with Kent, sounded incredible.

“Yeah, I’d like that. Been a while since I’ve been able to just bathe casually.”

[videointhenoise]

"A long while, I'm sure. A waste of water." He finds the soaps and towels, tucking them close. "Take my elbow," he says, sticking it out for them.

[getfeldsparred]

They remember having to collect the water droplets from the top teeth of the anglerfish just to not die of thirst. Yeah. It’d be a waste to do anything but drink it.

They talk Kent’s elbow and hold fast. “Tell me where we’re going and I can help.”

It’s been a while though, and their touch is unsure.

[videointhenoise]

Kent tucks their hand closer to him, reminding them of how it was. "Down this hallway and then three doors to on the left.

[getfeldsparred]

Right. Right. Just like this. “Down the hallway and three doors on the left,” they repeat, the remains of their ears perking up as they poke their head out into the hall.

It doesn’t take long before Feldspar starts falling into step with Kent again, just like second nature. It’s a straight shot to the bathroom though, which has already been given a Hearthian touch of hot water through recycled pipes and a makeshift drain in the floor. Judging from the rock pile in a wooden box in the middle of the room, someone’s already trying to turn it into a sauna.

[videointhenoise]

Kent pauses by the big doorway and pats their hand. "Did - they didn't just lead us to an empty storage room, did they?" he teases.

[getfeldsparred]

They chuckle softly. “Nah, they’ve made it real nice for us. Almost looks like home.”

They freeze for a second. Home. Home is really gone for good now, isn’t it?

[videointhenoise]

He notices the pause and hesitates. "Hey. You alright?"

Kent hasn't had a home in so long that this sort of pain is one he's numbed himself to.

[getfeldsparred]

“No,” they answer honestly. “No, not even a little. But I’m here, and so are you.”

They turn and bring Kent into a weak embrace.