openmisc | Kent/Feldspar

Feldspar laughs, and it’s loud and genuine. Kent’s right though, these aliens must have been enormous. Even their doorways are massive. “That sucks for you, Kent.”

"It does suck for me, thanks," he laughs, and it is - astonishing how easily Feldspar's own laugh makes Kent blush. Makes him squeeze their arm around him. Makes him want to keep him all to himself.

They go up the steps and Feldspar winces as the artificial light starts peeking through the doors. It’s been a long time since they’d seen anything remotely close to sunlight even manufactured sunlight.

Feldspar walks out with Kent and their jaw drops at the sight of the giant, circular spaceship. It’s an entire world, with a river and forest and canyons and wooden buildings. They can see the Hearthian touch in the ruins too - pathways already erected along the sides of the river and the skeleton of a dam directly in front of them. There are buildings too, and campfires, and the beginnings of what will soon be tall pines from emergency seeds, and just along the path there’s music…

It’s the Traveller’s Song. They’re still playing it, even after all these years.

Feldspar leans against Kent as they take in the sight of this magnificent ship and the Hearthian village already taking shape inside of it.

Kent holds them close, turning and pressing a kiss to their cheek. "Isn't it magnificent?" he wonders because he knows. He knows that it's beautiful and perfect. It's a life raft, but it's exactly what they needed.

They close their eyes at the touch of Kent’s lips to their cheek, making a sound almost like a purr in their throat. They’d like to take a few more minutes just standing at the top of the damn and observing the ship, but there’s a shout from down below, followed by another and then another, rising in excitement.

“It’s Feldspar!”

“No way!”

“I told you - they found Feldspar!”

Feldspar clings a little more tightly to Kent as an overjoyed crowd begins to gather and three figures branch off to run up ahead.

Kent steps forward a little, hearing those voices. "It's alright," he tells them softly. "I'll take care of it. Squeeze twice if you want to go."

Feldspar feels the terror creeping up their spine at the sight of the excited crowd coming their way, but they hold fast to Kent’s arm and plant their feet. “No,” they say quickly, “no, it’s them. Gossan and Slate and Hornfels…”

They deserve as much as anyone to see them. Even from this distance they can see Hornfels crying and Slate looking ashen. Gossan has a smile on their face, and - are they missing an eye?

Kent smiles. "I know. But you can still be...overwhelmed," he explains and waits for them to hurry up the hill.

They don’t have the ability to respond before Gossan is right up in front of them. They see the tears in their eyes now, the thick scarring on the side of their face. Gossan looks like they’re going in for a hug but they stop themselves short.

“Felds,” they say, reaching for their arms instead. Gossan must have realized how frail they are. “Felds, you’re alive. You’re really alive.”

“Alive and well, which is more than I can say for you,” Feldspar teases, automatically sinking into their own routine. “Look at you! Your eye!”

Gossan sniffs and then laughs, “you’re one to talk, look at you!”

Slate comes up quickly behind Gossan, then Hornfels who does go for the embrace. “Feldspar, stars, we thought - we stopped searching…the Dark Bramble!”

“What were you thinking?!” Slate blurts out, as though they’d been holding onto that sentiment for years. Which to be fair to Slate, they probably had been. “The Dark Bramble! And you didn’t even radio in!”

Hornfels moves back and it’s Slate’s turn for a hug. “I thought…I thought I killed you,” they mutter.

Feldspar’s heart sinks. “Stars, no! No, Slate.” They pull back and look to the three of them. “No, it was my stupid decision to go in the first place, it had nothing to do with you! With any of you, understand? Slate, your ship was the only thing that kept me alive in the first place, and Gossan, if you’d gone after me you would’ve gotten lost or eaten.”

Kent ducks his head again, letting them have all of Feldspar, even as he keeps an arm around them. "Slate..." he mutters, shaking his head. That's not true. None of it was true.

The three of them go back for another hug, this time Gossan actually embracing them albeit gently. They can feel Slate sniff as the bend their head over theirs, while Hornfels continues to cry happy tears. There’s a slight push and Feldspar feels a little more pressure.

“Hey, you’re up!”

It’s Esker. Feldspar laughs and tries to give them all a hug back, but they’re too weak to sustain it.

The founders all pull back eventually, faces shining with tears and beaming with equal parts joy and disbelief. Feldspar can hear the others murmuring as they stand around the Outer Wilds team, eager to get a look at the returning hero.

Kent breathes out. "Not too long," he warns them all, not wanting Feldspar to be mobbed by anyone. Not yet. They need time to recover, time to recoup what they've lost.

Hornfels immediately jumps into action forming a plan. “Let’s circle around them and parade them back to their recovery room,” they say quietly. Slate, Gossan and Esker immediately nod and form a secure barrier in front of them and Kent, quickly guiding the crowd into some happy cheers as they start walking backwards to guide them all back towards the room.

“Feldspar is indeed here with us, but as you can imagine is quite tired!” Hornfels says cheerily. The crowd is still excited, still calling for Feldspar but there are more than a few disappointed murmurs.

“Don’t worry, you’ll hear from them soon! Outer Wilds has to check on them first, ya know?” Gossan offers.

Feldspar hears Rutile’s voice, older but still warm and confident. “We’ve waited for seven years, we can wait a little more.”

Some of the hatchlings groan, but are quickly shushed by the elders.

“We missed you, Feldspar!” shouts someone…Marl, maybe? It’s hard to tell. “You’ll have to tell us all about your adventures!”

“We’ll get a big campfire going for sure,” Esker adds with a grin.

Feldspar tries to pick themselves up and shouts over Gossan’s shoulder, “Can’t wait to roast a mallow again! The menu wasn’t too good in the Dark Bramble.”

The crowd laughs, and Feldspar grins. “Make sure to save some good stories for me. We’ll all catch up soon!”

“Go rest, Feldspar,” they hear a voice urging - Tektite, they think. The old codger’s still kicking around, good. Really good.

“Come on, hero,” Slate grunts, but Feldspar can still see the tears in their eyes.

God bless the team. Kent smiles his thanks, ignoring the press of people until he feels someone take his hand. A very familiar someone. Lapis, of course, is allowed through, and they hold Kent free hand to walk back to the recovery room.

"I brought some stuff," is all they say and gesture to the room where they've laid out some clothes for Kent and Feldspar as well as the bag that Kent had packed. Sentimental treasures, his box and pictures from home, and some gifts that he had kept from Feldspar.

Lapis. Their gentle smile with just a hint of mischief to it, all grown up now and no longer looking youthful. They’ve been taking care of Kent for so long, still doing it actually, even now.

They’ve had the weight of the universe on their shoulders, haven’t they?

The rest of the Outer Wilds team slip into the room after them, minus the newer recruits who as far as Feldspar could tell were still a part of the crowd.

He reaches out to feel each of the small trinkets, letting go of Feldspar in this safe place so that he knows what they are. "This room's going to be your home for a while, I think," they tell Kent and Feldspar. "Might as well make it cozy."

Feldspar takes the next few moments to really look at Lapis, their little hatching who had grown so much. They’re tall and strapping, handsome, ears a little tattered from all the training they must have done with Gossan and Slate. Their eyes are tired, but there’s still a familiar glint of happiness and mischief still present that Feldspar had known so well.

Lapis sits on the edge of one of the massive pieces of furniture and exhales softly. Holding themselves up with their hand to the wall, Feldspar walks up to them and tries to sit down beside them.

“What can you tell me about this place?”

Lapis scoots closer to them. "Uh, well, a lot of it relies on light. Most of it, really. There was a dam here when I first came, but it collapsed. A lot of it is pretty unstable, but they have very strange technology. A way of playing videos through just pictures. A computer that created a simulation of a world for them."

They pause there, knowing there will be questions about that.

Yeah, they’re definitely going to ask about that, but there are other things they want to know first.

“How’d you find this place anyway? I remember that it was cloaked.”

They frown a little, watching as Gossan approach Kent, probably to ask more questions about Feldspar’s crash in the Dark Bramble.

Lapis looks over to Gossan and then explains about the satellite and the photograph with the strange smudge on it. The way that the light was blocked only at that angle and only from that view. How they had traveled to the satellite and saw it for themselves.

They smile. "It took me...three loops before I finally caught the damn thing."

Those loops.

“I’m gonna ask you about that simulation thing in a minute, but I have to know - how many loops? How many times did you relive it all?”

They’d put most of it together from Lapis and Gabbro’s conversation, but there are still some pretty big gaps in their knowledge.

How many times did they die.

That's the question that's being asked.

Lapis puts their hand over Feldspar's. The number is staggering.

"One hundred and seventy two."

One hundred and seventy two.

It takes a moment for the number and it’s true meaning to actually sink in, and when it does Feldspar’s mouth falls open and tears quickly come to their eyes. No wonder Lapis looks the way they do. No wonder they seem ancient, when in fact they’re still so young.

How many times did Lapis watch their dad die in those loops? How many times did they sit with them in the Dark Bramble? Feldspar holds Lapis’ hand and squeezes as tightly as their weak body can handle.

“You’ve got a lotta stories to tell us all, huh?”

"Of course I do," they tell him softly. They know. The revelation is hard. "I'm - no. I'm not alright. But I'm better."

“Yeah.”

They know that feeling.

“It’ll take time, but we’ve got that now thanks to you.”

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