Kent/Feldspar

[videointhenoise]

"Just once more," they had said when Ellie's team petitioned for it. She was busy with Palmer, falling in love with science while he fell in love with God, and Kent was left to pick up the pieces. He wanted another damn go at it. The Machine had a pricetag in the billions; it was begging to be used again.

But they wouldn't let Ellie go. They wouldn't let just anyone go. They wanted someone who knew how it worked, who had been there from the beginning, but someone who isn't completely taken in by Ellie's words.

That leads them to a dozen people and they end up with Kent. He's blind, but that's not what decides it. They claim that he wouldn't hallucinate the way Ellie did. That he has a unique perspective.

And, he's already proven himself steady and loyal.

He experiences it all the way that Ellie does, but something goes wrong on the other end. Maybe another terrorist attack. Maybe not. All he knows is that he's in the sphere and then, suddenly, he's floating, unable to find his footing until a great crash and he slams into the bottom of the machine.

He groans, pulling his helmet on with a grunt and a wince.

"Fuck this," he mutters, finding the edge of the sphere with his hands. There was a door there somewhere. He just - has to find it.

Comments

[videointhenoise]

He laughs softly. "Well, come home and I'll have plenty for you to listen to."

He rubs the back of his neck. "Get some sleep, Felds. I'll check with you in the morning."

[getfeldsparred]

Come home.

Home really never held as much appeal as the stars before. When did that change?

Feldspar exhales quietly, then picks up the radio. “Goodnight, Kent.”

They put away the radio and listen for the next cyclone, determined to ride the island up into the atmosphere. They figure if they fall into the water they’d survive the fall back down, but there’s really only one way to tell.

Feldspar spends two more Hearthian days out in the Outer Wilds, sleeping in their ship out in the water or floating in space, chasing cyclones to feel the thrill of being thrown back up in the air. When they return it’s with a large bag full of artifacts from their trip, hoping it’ll appease Hornfels enough that they won’t ask too many questions.

[videointhenoise]

Kent isn't there to greet Feldspar on his return, having taken the hatchlings out on a walk. Or rather...they demanded to take him out on a walk. The Heartheans had been very - insistent the past two days on not leaving him alone. He doesnt mind the constant company, of course, but it had been...odd. They sleep with him, walk with him, eat with him. He isn't sure what he did to earn this attention, but he enjoys it as much as it exhausts him.

Meanwhile, after the fanfare of the landing, it's Rutile who pulls Feldspar aside. "We need to talk," he tells them.

[getfeldsparred]

Feldspar has their own routine for landing - smile, wave, tell a few quick stories to entice the others for the full tale around the campfire, then give the official run-down with the other members of Outer Wilds Ventures.

Rutile had come to the first few landings, but after space travel became a routine thing they’d busied themselves with other matters - mainly being ready to put out any accidental fires caused by the ship. Feldspar’s surprised to see them there, and looking so serious too.

“Yeah, what about? Where’s Kent? The others wouldn’t say.”

[videointhenoise]

"Th - he's out with the hatchlings," Rutile says with a wave of his hand. "But that's what I wanted to talk to you about. We knew Kent would miss you when you were gone. He was up at the waterfall every night. But one night Gabbro saw him up there with a knife - cutting himself!" Rutile says with a dramatic sort of gasp.

[getfeldsparred]

Rutile isn’t without a sense of humor, but ever since they took over as mayor they’ve definitely become more grave and serious. This though - Feldspar’s never seen them so worried before.

And with good reason, it turns out. Feldspar shakes their head softly, disbelieving. “No, no - that’s…Kent wouldn’t hurt the-himself.”

But there’s a part of them that’s always worried about Kent’s sorrow and loss. Even if they are fitting in well and beloved by the entire village, they’re still so far from home.

[videointhenoise]

"That's what they saw," they insist. We thought you could talk to him. Since you two are so close."

They turn as Chert rushes past to greet Feldspar. Kent won't be far behind.

[getfeldsparred]

Gabbro’s a little weird, but they wouldn’t make up or exaggerate something like that.

“I…yeah, yeah. Of course.”

Chert’s followed by Reibeck, who’s followed in turn by Gabbro who is clinging tightly to Kent’s hand. Gabbro looks at Feldspar and then at Rutile.

“Kent, Feldspar’s back,” they say, still holding tightly to him.

[videointhenoise]

"I missed the landing?" Kent mutters, trying to figure out why they would have kept him.

He pulls his stick closer. He can read a room and the vibes are rotten here.

[getfeldsparred]

Rutile looks at the hatchlings. “Give us the room, hatchlings.”

Chert and Reibeck leave the cabin almost immediately, but Gabbro wraps their arms around Kent’s legs and hugs him tightly first. “See you.”

They head out quickly, and Feldspar’s left with a confused Kent and an extremely worried Rutile.

“Kent…we…uh.”

Rutile clears their throat and starts, stepping in where Feldspar is failing. “Kent, we want you to know we don’t judge you. We understand that you’re in a horrible position, and as much as we’re there for you we can’t replace the friends and family you left behind.”

They step a little closer to Kent, continuing. “Gabbro said they saw you at the waterfall the other night. You were all alone and-”

“Are you hurting yourself?” Feldspar blurts out. They can’t stand their own building worry and Kent’s clear distress at this conversation.

[videointhenoise]

Kent's facial expressions are generally muted, but he can't help the clear surprise at the questions. "I - well I can say I've never actually been asked that before."

He leans on his stick. "Why don't you tell me exactly what it is that Gabbro saw?" He has an idea where this might be going, but he needs to be sure.

Rutile speaks up. "They said you were at the water with a knife, putting it against your face and scraping! And then you chopped off the fur on your head!"

[getfeldsparred]

“Kent!” Feldspar exclaims, horrified. “You were cutting off a piece of yourself?”

They hurry to him and take him by the arms.

“Why - why didn’t you say something? You could have told me!”

[videointhenoise]

Kent blinks, surprised only when Feldspar takes his arms.

And then he starts to laugh.

"Oh my god. I'm sorry, I - should have explained!"

He pulls his hair down from the tie that it's in. "There aren't any nerve endings here. It doesn't hurt. And if I don't cut it, it will grow and grow forever."

[getfeldsparred]

“It doesn’t…” Feldspar stares openly as the hair falls around Kent’s face. “It doesn’t hurt?”

They touch the hair, bending and twisting, and look to his face for a change in expression. No register of pain.

From behind them they can hear Rutile laugh in relief. “Like fingernails! Oh, oh Kent, thank the stars, we were so worried!”

[videointhenoise]

Kent just smiles, letting Feldspar take his hair. "And I get fur on my face if I don't shave it. I've just been doing it where no one can see, I guess."

He hums a little. "Oh hell. Poor Gabbro. I'll need to talk to them. No wonder they haven't left me. Wait. Is that why you had the hatchlings sleep with me these past two nights?"

Rutile nods solemnly. "We wanted to keep an eye on you. In case you really did need help."

Kent reaches out and takes Feldspar's hand. "I'm alright," he assures them.

[getfeldsparred]

Feldspar can’t help themselves; they reach up to cup Kent’s face, trying to feel the hair on his skin for themselves.

“I’ll go find Gabbro and explain, though they’re probably right outside the door,” Rutile says, already walking to the door. They put a hand on Kent’s shoulder and squeeze. “We’re here for you, always.”

[videointhenoise]

Kent nods. "I know. And same to you" he tells Rutile, and cups his hand over Feldspar's on his cheek. He waits until he hears the door close, and then let's out a breath.

"If I missed you that much, I'd just stowaway on the ship next time," he says with a smile, fingers wrapping around Feldspar's.

[getfeldsparred]

“That’d probably be a bigger act of self-harm than using a knife on yourself,” they chuckle. But they wouldn’t have chalked any of it up to Kent missing them - instead it would have been that they weren’t around to see Kent hurt themselves and stop him.

“Stars, Kent, that…you really scared me.”

They brushed their thumb up and down their cheek, feeling the little pinpricks of hair underneath his skin. “Huh. I never noticed.”

[videointhenoise]

"I never looked good with the scraggly beard. At least that's what my friends told me. Maybe I should spare everyone the shock and just let it grow."

Kent smiles against his hand. "Well, it's not how I wanted to be reunited, but - I'm glad you're back."

[getfeldsparred]

“Yeah, not my best landing, honestly, but I’m glad to be back too.”

Their thumb almost brushes against the corner of Kent’s lips before they stop themselves - or rather, are stopped when Gabbro rushes back into the cabin and nearly bowls Feldspar over as they run straight to Kent.

“Kent! Kent!”

It’s the most emotional they’ve ever seen out of the little hatchling. Almost to the point of tears, they grab and hold onto Kent tightly again.

[videointhenoise]

"Hey," he smiles, kneeling down to wrap his arms around Gabbro in return.

"Thanks for looking out for me, bud," he says genuinely. "You are a very, very good friend." And Gabbro gets another little squeeze.

[getfeldsparred]

Gabbro sniffs softly and buries their head into Kent’s shirt, not willing to let go just yet. Feldspar smiles and gently puts a hand on Gabbro’s head.

Sometimes those hormones are particularly strong, and this is one of those times. They can get their hatchling fix with little Reibeck later when they show them all the artifacts they brought back.

“I’m going to tell some stories at the fire tonight, but first - I need a shower. I’ll see you later.”

[videointhenoise]

"Alright," Kent tells them with a smile. "I'll be there."

But not for the stories. He lets Feldspar do what he needs to. Gabbro leaves and Kent readies himself for the campfire.

The stories are fine, yes, but Kent doesn't stay for the whole thing. He walks up to the waterfall and waits for him there.

[getfeldsparred]

They’re a natural storyteller, and most of the evening’s entertainment - aside from Gneiss’ music - is their stories from Giant’s Deep. They give all the right flourishes and embellish just a little here and there, but when the attention finally falls away from them they’re relieved.

They help Marl round up the hatchlings and put them to bed, then climb the path up the newly-installed ramp and through the woods to get to the top of the waterfall.

Feldspar sits down unceremoniously beside Kent on their log.

[videointhenoise]

Kent leans against them as a greeting.

He says nothing at first, waiting to see if Feldspar wants to play or talk. Kent is happy either way. He's a guest here now, with Feldspar, and so he follows what he wants.