Kent/Feldspar

[videointhenoise]

"Just once more," they had said when Ellie's team petitioned for it. She was busy with Palmer, falling in love with science while he fell in love with God, and Kent was left to pick up the pieces. He wanted another damn go at it. The Machine had a pricetag in the billions; it was begging to be used again.

But they wouldn't let Ellie go. They wouldn't let just anyone go. They wanted someone who knew how it worked, who had been there from the beginning, but someone who isn't completely taken in by Ellie's words.

That leads them to a dozen people and they end up with Kent. He's blind, but that's not what decides it. They claim that he wouldn't hallucinate the way Ellie did. That he has a unique perspective.

And, he's already proven himself steady and loyal.

He experiences it all the way that Ellie does, but something goes wrong on the other end. Maybe another terrorist attack. Maybe not. All he knows is that he's in the sphere and then, suddenly, he's floating, unable to find his footing until a great crash and he slams into the bottom of the machine.

He groans, pulling his helmet on with a grunt and a wince.

"Fuck this," he mutters, finding the edge of the sphere with his hands. There was a door there somewhere. He just - has to find it.

Comments

[getfeldsparred]

Feldspar laughs.

“It’s got a few trees, actually. I have no idea how they’re surviving. There are a few caves and a sandy beach too. The cyclones get close every once in a while, so I don’t think I’ll be sleeping here.”

But they do sit down by the fire they made.

“Rutile Boringmeetings.”

[videointhenoise]

Kent snorts.

"Maybe try and anchor yourself down before you sleep," he suggests.

"Slate Canttakeajoke."

[getfeldsparred]

They don’t think they’ll be sleeping tonight, but Kent doesn’t need to know that.

“Slate can take a joke!” they snort. “Slate Soldering Iron.”

[videointhenoise]

"Maybe with you!" he snorts. "But fine. I'll give you that. Slate Safety-Ignorer."

He sits back. "What about you, hm? What would your name be?"

[getfeldsparred]

“Probably something to do with explosions,” Feldspar sighs.

They can’t see through the atmosphere here, so they can’t see the stars. It’s a shame. Looking out they can at least imagine they’re seeing Timber Hearth and the rest of the night sky.

“I’d want something about the stars though.”

[videointhenoise]

He's quiet for a moment.

"Did I tell you about pulsars yet?" he wonders. "Stars that move so fast that they make a choppy sound, but they're powerful and - they sound beautiful."

[getfeldsparred]

“No,” they say, but quiet down knowing Kent will explain it to them.

“I bet they’re incredible.”

A star that moves so fast the sound can’t keep up.

[videointhenoise]

"They're my favorite to listen to," he confesses. "They sound alive. Like they are trying to speak to us. I'm sure I can find one in the sky here."

[getfeldsparred]

Feldspar Pulsar.

No, that’s too much. Get your ego in check, Feldspar. They’re nothing like a pulsar.

“You’re my favorite to listen to,” Feldspar says without thinking. They laugh quickly, trying to save face. “But I’d like to hear a pulsar too.”

[videointhenoise]

He laughs softly. "Well, come home and I'll have plenty for you to listen to."

He rubs the back of his neck. "Get some sleep, Felds. I'll check with you in the morning."

[getfeldsparred]

Come home.

Home really never held as much appeal as the stars before. When did that change?

Feldspar exhales quietly, then picks up the radio. “Goodnight, Kent.”

They put away the radio and listen for the next cyclone, determined to ride the island up into the atmosphere. They figure if they fall into the water they’d survive the fall back down, but there’s really only one way to tell.

Feldspar spends two more Hearthian days out in the Outer Wilds, sleeping in their ship out in the water or floating in space, chasing cyclones to feel the thrill of being thrown back up in the air. When they return it’s with a large bag full of artifacts from their trip, hoping it’ll appease Hornfels enough that they won’t ask too many questions.

[videointhenoise]

Kent isn't there to greet Feldspar on his return, having taken the hatchlings out on a walk. Or rather...they demanded to take him out on a walk. The Heartheans had been very - insistent the past two days on not leaving him alone. He doesnt mind the constant company, of course, but it had been...odd. They sleep with him, walk with him, eat with him. He isn't sure what he did to earn this attention, but he enjoys it as much as it exhausts him.

Meanwhile, after the fanfare of the landing, it's Rutile who pulls Feldspar aside. "We need to talk," he tells them.

[getfeldsparred]

Feldspar has their own routine for landing - smile, wave, tell a few quick stories to entice the others for the full tale around the campfire, then give the official run-down with the other members of Outer Wilds Ventures.

Rutile had come to the first few landings, but after space travel became a routine thing they’d busied themselves with other matters - mainly being ready to put out any accidental fires caused by the ship. Feldspar’s surprised to see them there, and looking so serious too.

“Yeah, what about? Where’s Kent? The others wouldn’t say.”

[videointhenoise]

"Th - he's out with the hatchlings," Rutile says with a wave of his hand. "But that's what I wanted to talk to you about. We knew Kent would miss you when you were gone. He was up at the waterfall every night. But one night Gabbro saw him up there with a knife - cutting himself!" Rutile says with a dramatic sort of gasp.

[getfeldsparred]

Rutile isn’t without a sense of humor, but ever since they took over as mayor they’ve definitely become more grave and serious. This though - Feldspar’s never seen them so worried before.

And with good reason, it turns out. Feldspar shakes their head softly, disbelieving. “No, no - that’s…Kent wouldn’t hurt the-himself.”

But there’s a part of them that’s always worried about Kent’s sorrow and loss. Even if they are fitting in well and beloved by the entire village, they’re still so far from home.

[videointhenoise]

"That's what they saw," they insist. We thought you could talk to him. Since you two are so close."

They turn as Chert rushes past to greet Feldspar. Kent won't be far behind.

[getfeldsparred]

Gabbro’s a little weird, but they wouldn’t make up or exaggerate something like that.

“I…yeah, yeah. Of course.”

Chert’s followed by Reibeck, who’s followed in turn by Gabbro who is clinging tightly to Kent’s hand. Gabbro looks at Feldspar and then at Rutile.

“Kent, Feldspar’s back,” they say, still holding tightly to him.

[videointhenoise]

"I missed the landing?" Kent mutters, trying to figure out why they would have kept him.

He pulls his stick closer. He can read a room and the vibes are rotten here.

[getfeldsparred]

Rutile looks at the hatchlings. “Give us the room, hatchlings.”

Chert and Reibeck leave the cabin almost immediately, but Gabbro wraps their arms around Kent’s legs and hugs him tightly first. “See you.”

They head out quickly, and Feldspar’s left with a confused Kent and an extremely worried Rutile.

“Kent…we…uh.”

Rutile clears their throat and starts, stepping in where Feldspar is failing. “Kent, we want you to know we don’t judge you. We understand that you’re in a horrible position, and as much as we’re there for you we can’t replace the friends and family you left behind.”

They step a little closer to Kent, continuing. “Gabbro said they saw you at the waterfall the other night. You were all alone and-”

“Are you hurting yourself?” Feldspar blurts out. They can’t stand their own building worry and Kent’s clear distress at this conversation.

[videointhenoise]

Kent's facial expressions are generally muted, but he can't help the clear surprise at the questions. "I - well I can say I've never actually been asked that before."

He leans on his stick. "Why don't you tell me exactly what it is that Gabbro saw?" He has an idea where this might be going, but he needs to be sure.

Rutile speaks up. "They said you were at the water with a knife, putting it against your face and scraping! And then you chopped off the fur on your head!"

[getfeldsparred]

“Kent!” Feldspar exclaims, horrified. “You were cutting off a piece of yourself?”

They hurry to him and take him by the arms.

“Why - why didn’t you say something? You could have told me!”

[videointhenoise]

Kent blinks, surprised only when Feldspar takes his arms.

And then he starts to laugh.

"Oh my god. I'm sorry, I - should have explained!"

He pulls his hair down from the tie that it's in. "There aren't any nerve endings here. It doesn't hurt. And if I don't cut it, it will grow and grow forever."

[getfeldsparred]

“It doesn’t…” Feldspar stares openly as the hair falls around Kent’s face. “It doesn’t hurt?”

They touch the hair, bending and twisting, and look to his face for a change in expression. No register of pain.

From behind them they can hear Rutile laugh in relief. “Like fingernails! Oh, oh Kent, thank the stars, we were so worried!”

[videointhenoise]

Kent just smiles, letting Feldspar take his hair. "And I get fur on my face if I don't shave it. I've just been doing it where no one can see, I guess."

He hums a little. "Oh hell. Poor Gabbro. I'll need to talk to them. No wonder they haven't left me. Wait. Is that why you had the hatchlings sleep with me these past two nights?"

Rutile nods solemnly. "We wanted to keep an eye on you. In case you really did need help."

Kent reaches out and takes Feldspar's hand. "I'm alright," he assures them.

[getfeldsparred]

Feldspar can’t help themselves; they reach up to cup Kent’s face, trying to feel the hair on his skin for themselves.

“I’ll go find Gabbro and explain, though they’re probably right outside the door,” Rutile says, already walking to the door. They put a hand on Kent’s shoulder and squeeze. “We’re here for you, always.”