CK yelps before grinning over his shoulder, but he doesn't linger. He strolls into the bathroom to start washing the sweat and sticky mess off of himself, taking his time and leaving the door open for Luca.
There'd been a moment, as he showered, where his mind had turned again to his sister. About what this was doing to her memory, about how wrong he must be to want this, need this. For this to be the only drug out of everything SOPHIA had put him through to make him feel alive again. He closes his eyes and lets the water wash over him as he thinks about how he might punish himself this time, about how he could hurt himself until he doesn't feel so guilty.
But then he hears Luca, and the clouds lift. He stretches before glancing over his shoulder. "You think so? What kind?"
But then he hears Luca, and the clouds lift. He stretches before glancing over his shoulder. "You think so? What kind?"
"Is it? I'll have to remember that." For later. For when he might want to surprise Luca with something special.
"I'm not sure what you see," but he's smiling when he answers. "I'm just glad you do. I won't be much longer."
"I'm not sure what you see," but he's smiling when he answers. "I'm just glad you do. I won't be much longer."
CK doesn't dawdle, but he doesn't rush, either. He's clean and dry in a silk robe when he joins Luca, shooing a cat out of the way so he can curl up next to him instead.
"What do you see in me, Luca? You could have anyone. Someone who isn't a mess. Someone successful, happy."
"What do you see in me, Luca? You could have anyone. Someone who isn't a mess. Someone successful, happy."
"I don't feel like most of those most of the time anymore," he confesses, twining his fingers with Luca. "I don't think I'm ever going to be who I used to be. Is that okay?"
He does and says all the right things, but CK still feels something off there. A sense that Luca doesn't want to talk about this. Or maybe he's being unfair, and is only seeing what he expects, as someone who's struggling to love himself.
So he smiles, nods, and turns his attention to the screen. "What kinds of options do you have on this thing?"
So he smiles, nods, and turns his attention to the screen. "What kinds of options do you have on this thing?"
"Hah! I remember that one." CK points out an action flick that had made waves at the time for exceptionally gratuitous violence and sex scenes that pushed the limits of the rating system. "I had to spend half the run time hoping you wouldn't notice I had a hard-on." Or, well, maybe part of him had hoped Luca did, but it'd always just been a harmless fantasy back then. A perfectly normal crush on a handsome older man giving him attention.
"Both?" He'd been, what, sixteen? It hadn't exactly taken much to get his motor going then. Not that he's all that better now, unless the depression's really getting to him. "And... that torture scene. I- I'd never seen anything like it. Had it replaying in my head for months." It'd been meant to be borderline erotic, with the main villain getting off to it. But it'd definitely awakened something in him.
"Yeah. He's got him in that mask and handcuffs so he's blind and helpless. And he-" CK licks his lips, snuggling in closer. "-brands him, right above his cock. Forces his tongue down his throat. Fuck." He shivers. "It's the first time I ever imagined someone doing things like that to me."
"On both sides. I used to be pretty active in the local kink scene, you know." Just not for a while. Not since Emilia. "It's fun to be the one giving it out, but there's something... special about being on the other end. Especially with the right partner." Though he always felt like there was something holding him back from really giving up control, being completely owned by whatever play partner he had, even the ones who were very, very good.
"Oh?" He shivers, his eyes glued on the screen as the opening scene starts to play. "You've tried it yourself?" That's hard to imagine. Luca's so powerful, so in control. He should be the one holding the leash and crop, if anything.
CK spreads his legs with a little sigh, nuzzling against Luca's shoulder. "...we're not going to see much of this movie, are we." Not that he sounds disappointed. "Luca? I trust you."
Maybe more than he trusts himself.
Maybe more than he trusts himself.
Was that only yesterday? It feels like a lifetime. He gasps and clings to Luca's arm, stiffening in his brief grip. Beautifully responsive, even after all the torment he's put himself through today.
"Why not?"
"Why not?"
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