Kent/Feldspar

[videointhenoise]

"Just once more," they had said when Ellie's team petitioned for it. She was busy with Palmer, falling in love with science while he fell in love with God, and Kent was left to pick up the pieces. He wanted another damn go at it. The Machine had a pricetag in the billions; it was begging to be used again.

But they wouldn't let Ellie go. They wouldn't let just anyone go. They wanted someone who knew how it worked, who had been there from the beginning, but someone who isn't completely taken in by Ellie's words.

That leads them to a dozen people and they end up with Kent. He's blind, but that's not what decides it. They claim that he wouldn't hallucinate the way Ellie did. That he has a unique perspective.

And, he's already proven himself steady and loyal.

He experiences it all the way that Ellie does, but something goes wrong on the other end. Maybe another terrorist attack. Maybe not. All he knows is that he's in the sphere and then, suddenly, he's floating, unable to find his footing until a great crash and he slams into the bottom of the machine.

He groans, pulling his helmet on with a grunt and a wince.

"Fuck this," he mutters, finding the edge of the sphere with his hands. There was a door there somewhere. He just - has to find it.

Comments

[videointhenoise]

Kent leans back, his head in their lap. "No. But - it wasn't to the detriment of ourselves," he points out.

[getfeldsparred]

They gently comb their fingers through Kent’s long hair. “I’m not even sure if Lapis and their…friend can be a couple. I couldn’t say if their feelings are reciprocated or what, and then Lapis would have to figure out what that life is going to look like.”

They suck in their breath. “Too many unknowns, y’know? I think for now they’re just happy they get to see them without their memories being wiped every time.”

[videointhenoise]

"I think a little unrequited love would be good for anyone, but god, what timing."

He sighs. "They haven't ever expressed interest in anyone," he tells them softly. "Not a single other Hearthean. Too busy with their head in the books, deciphering languages and working with Hal."

[getfeldsparred]

“I always thought it was going to be Hal. Or Hearth, even Gabbro. But they’ve been through so much, I think they’re just looking for someone who might share a drop of understanding. I dunno, Kent. I think we can agree that we both just want them happy.”

[videointhenoise]

"I'm not arguing with you, honey. Not at all. Don't uh - don't think that I am. I'm just trying to figure out how to help them. This is brand new territory for us in a lot of ways," he explains.

[getfeldsparred]

“I didn’t think we were arguing,” they reassure him, stroking along his hairline down to his ear. “I’m just sorta thinking out loud at this point.”

[videointhenoise]

He shivers a little and sits up, finding their face with his hand and kissing him. "I love you. And I'm - I'm just glad we're a team again."

[getfeldsparred]

They melt into the kiss, bring their hand down to caress Kent’s cheek with their thumb. “Me too. I’ve been wondering…”

No, it’s a silly question, not one he needs to know. “Never mind. I love you, Kent. I’ve really missed being at home.”

[videointhenoise]

"No," he says, keeping a hand on their cheek. "What have you been wondering?"

[getfeldsparred]

They sigh and gently sit back, taking Kent’s hand in theirs. “I just keep thinking about all those things Rutile said to me when we were first together. They thought I was going to abandon you and run away to the stars. Did they ever…”

They need to just say it, but it’s hard. “They didn’t ever say anything like that to you, right? That I chose the stars over you when I disappeared?”

[videointhenoise]

Kent wrinkles his forehead. "Does it matter?" he wonders. "If it wasn't something I would ever believe?"

[getfeldsparred]

“Only if someone was being an asshole about it, or if Lapis heard…”

Feldspar trails off, rubbing Kent’s hand a little more absently.

“I feel guilty, that’s why I keep bringing it up, and unsure about my place here with everyone else. And you know me, I’m impatient and want to dive right in, but rebuilding everything with everyone is gonna take time. And it’s kinda funny - the old me wouldn’t care what others think, but I do care, I care so much because I really…I really love them all, maybe more than I ever loved flying, and it took me disappearing into a bramble for 7 years to realize that.”