Daniel/Emery

[choosetoforget]

It's a very typical weekend for Daniel. He takes a call from his sister, who very recently struck out on her own and moved in with friends, while he makes tea. He keeps Sasha and Zhenzhen from the counters as he tries to tidy up as best he can. He puts on a documentary for a while before deciding to walk down to the shop for ice cream.

He hasn't even changed much. Sure, his hair is in a bun and the vest is decidedly 2015-chic, but he carries himself the same, very unhurried. Confident now. The barge isn't completely forgotten, but if anyone can compartmentalize and push down unwanted feelings, it's Daniel.

He smiles to an elderly neighbor as he opens his door and walks out to the street.

Really, nothing too out of the ordinary.

Comments

[choosetoforget]

He pulls his hand away quickly, but he's just as quick to return to petting.

"Well, it's Saturday, so I have no work. I was going to get ice cream when I found you. I do research for the University, so - at least my hours are rather consistent." He hums a bit. "I go to my workshop, as I said. I watch films. I go out with my friends. I have friends now. People who - don't know anything about my life before I came here, but friends all the same. Hazel was the only one who knew before you - you came here."

[cobbledtogetherenvy]

It's a human life. The kind he finally sort of understands, or at least can allow herself to parse what's worth envying and what doesn't matter. Ice cream doesn't sound bad. Some bits are boring. The interesting parts worth poking. The friends, the sister...

Emery really doesn't understand how to snuggle, not even as a cat. They sort of just put their front feet on Daniel's arm. "Not so bad, then."

[choosetoforget]

"No, not so bad," he agrees, closing his eyes and enjoying the weight, strange as it is, and the soft fur beneath his fingers. "Hazel will want to meet you. She's heard all about you."

[cobbledtogetherenvy]

That surprises him. He did practice being a cat for weeks after all. Envy was always a feral thing on the margins. The humans who knew the real him in any capacity kept it to themselves. "You talked about me?"

[choosetoforget]

His surprise causes Daniel to look down, searching that cat face as he strokes his back. "Of course I did. You're my friend. You're my - well. I've always considered us to be close. You're the one who protected me without any question, without wondering if I was right or not. You gave up your time and - yes, I know, you had nothing better to do - but it still meant something. When you stayed with me. You made me feel safe."

[cobbledtogetherenvy]

"Ugh, did you say stuff like that," Emery says, but their heart isn't in the mock-disgust. He's still rattled by the simple fact of not being a secret. "Of course you did. Sap."

[choosetoforget]

Daniel's laugh is high, a bit of a giggle. "Yes, I said that! I also told my friends about you, but I used the name Emery and told them you were an old friend from long ago."

[cobbledtogetherenvy]

"Mm, well." It had to come up eventually, and Daniel's going to be smug about it. Stupid human. "That's the right name, anyway. Envy was... a job."

[choosetoforget]

"It is?" He's not as smug as he is - surprised, though he really couldn't say why. "That's the name you want? I'm glad I don't have to tell them something different."

[cobbledtogetherenvy]

He doesn't seem to have a choice in the matter. But. She's also not bothered. "It has to be something, and it's not Envy."

[choosetoforget]

He strokes his fingers along his back. "Do you have different - pronouns like Emery did in the breach?" he wonders. "I've learned that's important to know now, too. Almost as important as a name. And I want you to be - you. In every way you can be."

He pauses.

"Like I told you that you could be." He can't resist a little smugness.

[cobbledtogetherenvy]

Daniel is lucky Emery didn't actually give himself claws. The feet that poke him are harmless and soft. If a little too strong for a cat's. But aside from that little show of sullenness, she mostly sounds serious. "I was a girl in the last one, right before I graduated." The cat settles in a bit more on Daniel's lap. "It wasn't any different. I'm not really... any of the genders humans have."

[choosetoforget]

Daniel giggles at the feet. "Then you're who you are. Like I said." He spreads his fingers in their fur. "My friends - well, they talk a lot about you and me. So - when you meet them, don't be surprised."

[cobbledtogetherenvy]

"Talk about what? Weirdo." Emery's being a brat, but he also sincerely has no idea what there could be to talk about. Daniel presumably doesn't tell his normal human friends about barge monsters and shadow creatures, and so what's left? They were just... in the same place a lot of the time.

[choosetoforget]

About how I love you.

He can't say that, though. He wants Envy - Emery - to stay, and he doesn't want them scared off. So he smiles that little smile that he does when he's trying to hide something.

"Nothing. It's - we just talk about - nothing."

Daniel is good at deception, but bad at lying outright.

[cobbledtogetherenvy]

Suddenly, being a cat doesn't cut it. Emery's been pretty free with shifting since they got it back. It feels good, like a nice stretch in the morning. Part of herself. The cat rolls off Daniel's lap and there's the roughly person-shaped Emery at his side again, leaned on his shoulder. She pokes him. (She looks a little more like Lust--like Emereal--like herself just as much as any other--this time.) "Weird."

[choosetoforget]

Daniel turns to them and puts an arm around their shoulders, holding them close. "You're pretty like this," he remarks, suddenly a little shy.

[cobbledtogetherenvy]

Emery's a little stiff. A lack of resistance seems like the best Daniel's going to get right now. It's something to approach obliquely. "I just look like my sister. I learned human stuff from her. I don't really look like anything, but I look like this, I don't know, a little less than a few other things." He holds out a delicate hand that absolutely belongs to Lust. Not sure how to feel about that. But it's important, now that he's made a certain, reluctant peace with slightly truer selves, that Daniel know about it.

[choosetoforget]

"You look how you want to look," he says, though it doesn't mean as much as he thinks it does. Not now. Not with an Emery who shapeshifts.

When they hold out a hand, Daniel takes it. "You look like you want to look, Emery. That's important."

[cobbledtogetherenvy]

Hands are somehow a bit easier. Their fingers twist around his. "I have to look like something. I... do like looking like a person, or a..." Ugh, he's really going to say this. "A nice animal, at least. Not something ugly." And his slightly realer self (selves?) is definitely ugly.

[choosetoforget]

He smiles at the touch, brushing a thumb along their hand before lowering it onto the small bit of couch space between them.

"I like how you look," he assures them. "As a cat and as a person. The hair is a nice, though."

[cobbledtogetherenvy]

Well, now he's aware of having hair. She looks a bit sourly at Daniel but doesn't protest. "Well, I guess you're the one who has to look at me for a while."

[choosetoforget]

"Yes, but it's your look."

He reaches into his pocket with one hand and takes out his cell phone. He is still getting used to it, but he can at least do this much. He flips on the camera and shows them both.

[cobbledtogetherenvy]

Emery is in many ways hyper-attuned to appearance. Disguises can turn on a mole in the right place or even more ephemeral traps, a torn coat, a recent injury. But she's very rarely actually looked at herself. Even since retooling this default body. The oddest sensation--it's shyness, not very familiar--creeps up and he turns his gaze down after a couple seconds of close regard. "Weirdo."

[choosetoforget]

He puts the phone away, staying close. "You're pretty. That's all I'm saying." Not an objective truth, but Daniel's always been partial.

Besides, it's fun to rile Emery up with compliments.