Kent/Feldspar

[videointhenoise]

"Just once more," they had said when Ellie's team petitioned for it. She was busy with Palmer, falling in love with science while he fell in love with God, and Kent was left to pick up the pieces. He wanted another damn go at it. The Machine had a pricetag in the billions; it was begging to be used again.

But they wouldn't let Ellie go. They wouldn't let just anyone go. They wanted someone who knew how it worked, who had been there from the beginning, but someone who isn't completely taken in by Ellie's words.

That leads them to a dozen people and they end up with Kent. He's blind, but that's not what decides it. They claim that he wouldn't hallucinate the way Ellie did. That he has a unique perspective.

And, he's already proven himself steady and loyal.

He experiences it all the way that Ellie does, but something goes wrong on the other end. Maybe another terrorist attack. Maybe not. All he knows is that he's in the sphere and then, suddenly, he's floating, unable to find his footing until a great crash and he slams into the bottom of the machine.

He groans, pulling his helmet on with a grunt and a wince.

"Fuck this," he mutters, finding the edge of the sphere with his hands. There was a door there somewhere. He just - has to find it.

Comments

[getfeldsparred]

They laugh quietly, finally hearing the age in their hatchling’s voice. They lived lifetimes in those loops. “You’re as old as I am, huh? At least you got to keep your youth; I’m jealous.”

Feldspar tugs on their hand and brings them in for a tight hug. “Let the Hearthians decide what Hearthian culture is, pebble. You saved us. That’s enough weight on anyone’s shoulders, especially yours.”

[videointhenoise]

They lean into the embrace, surprised at how much they needed this.

"I don't know what to do, Feldspar," they mutter and, for the first time in a long time, they feel so very young.

[getfeldsparred]

They wish they could be better for the hatchling’s sake, or give an answer that wouldn’t sound so hollow or equally as lost.

“You’ve gotta rebuild with us, when you’re ready, and tell me and your dad what you went through. We can help with some of the burden, y’know.”

[videointhenoise]

They breathe out and nod once.

"Tomorrow," they promise. "Tomorrow, meet me in the same place. By the river."

[getfeldsparred]

“Alright.”

They don’t let go of them; in fact they start to hug them more tightly. Their hatchling. Their little hatchling. All the years they missed, all the happy moments and heart breaks - that day they decided to join Outer Wilds Ventures. They would have given anything to see that day.

“Hey.” They place a shaking hand to the back of Lapis’ head. “I’m proud of you.”

[videointhenoise]

Lapis is quiet for a single, shuddering breath, then starts to cry, pressing their face against Feldspar's shirt.

[getfeldsparred]

Just like when they were little and would fall and cut their knee, only now these sobs are anguished and broken. Feldspar tries to hold on as tightly as they can, feeling tears slip down their own cheeks as they rock their little hatchling.

“It’s gonna be okay, pebble, it’s gonna be okay.”

[videointhenoise]

"No it won't," they mutter to themselves. "It won't be okay because everything is - it's all terrible, I've died. I've died. And I've watched everyone else die a hundred times again and again and I felt like I was the last thing in the whole universe..."

[getfeldsparred]

“Because you kinda were.”

Feldspar sits back a little, bringing their hands to Lapis’ cheeks to brush the tears away and give them a fond little pinch, just like they used to do before they disappeared.

“All alone in the universe, I mean. Dying that many times and in what I can imagine were hundreds of different ways…you were an immortal, and all that fucked up stuff just stayed with you. It’s got nowhere else to go, and no one really can understand.

“Am I right?”

[videointhenoise]

Lapis smiles despite the tears.

"Yeah," they answer, sniffling. "Yeah, that's exactly it."

[getfeldsparred]

“Yeah,” Feldspar nods, dropping their hands to Lapis’s shoulders. “Even if it doesn’t feel like it, it’s still gonna be okay. Might take a while to get to that point, but thanks to you we’ve got nothing but time.”

[videointhenoise]

"I know," they mutters. "I know. I just...can't get over it. I'm real glad for Gneiss."

[getfeldsparred]

Feldspar frowns. “What do you mean?”

[videointhenoise]

"Being a stable place for everyone. I don't want to lead anyone," they explain.

[getfeldsparred]

They can agree on that much. They sit back on their heels, looking back at Lapis and wondering which way to go next.

“They’re good at it. Them, Tektite, Rutile, Spinel…they’ve always kept us together, and unless I’ve really missed a lot, they’re still with us. Is…everyone looking to you now?”

[videointhenoise]

"Ever since we got here," they say. "Just because I found this place and I - I was in the loop. Me and Gabbro. It's a lot. And I don't have answers," they admit.

[getfeldsparred]

“But to be fair to them, you’ve been protective about some of the secrets about this place. You know a lot more than you want or are able to share.”

[videointhenoise]

They look away. "They can find out the secrets if they want. But some of it is just...destroyed. So it doesn't matter."

[getfeldsparred]

Feldspar shrugs a little exaggeratedly. “It just seems important to you, that’s all.”

[videointhenoise]

"I'll show you tomorrow," they tell him with a sigh. "It's - I need to be ready."

[getfeldsparred]

“No rush,” Feldspar tells them gently, “I’m real good at waiting things out.”

They put a hand to the wall and begin to pull themselves up. “Did I ever tell you about Gneiss and the village orchestra? It’s a good story. Spinel falls into one of the geysers and Rutile sets their fiddle on fire.”

[videointhenoise]

"Is that the story?" they laugh, glad for the change in subject and stands up to help them if they need it.

[getfeldsparred]

They squeeze Lapis’ hand and start to tell the story, naturally exaggerating all the good parts that they’ve probably been misremembering this entire time. They were young when it happened, so it’s not as though the exaggerations are for that much dramatic effect. They chat while they both walk back to their rooms, lowering their voice as they pass around the outskirts of the village and the low-burning campfires.

“I think that’s why Slate decided to play the guitar,” they laugh quietly. “Gneiss got their orchestra though.”

[videointhenoise]

The story is perfect. Everything that Lapis needs to hear and everything that they want to know. It cheers them enough that they walk closer, feeling conspiratorial.

"Not all of it," Lapis says with a smile. "I think they're making something else now."

[getfeldsparred]

“Oh, yeah?”

They feel a knot in their throat at the thought of Gneiss doing a special project without them knowing. Gneiss had been their biggest champion, and they’d just -

Kept going after they’d disappeared.

It’s not fair to think that way, they know that, but they can’t help how they feel.