Kent/Feldspar

[videointhenoise]

"Just once more," they had said when Ellie's team petitioned for it. She was busy with Palmer, falling in love with science while he fell in love with God, and Kent was left to pick up the pieces. He wanted another damn go at it. The Machine had a pricetag in the billions; it was begging to be used again.

But they wouldn't let Ellie go. They wouldn't let just anyone go. They wanted someone who knew how it worked, who had been there from the beginning, but someone who isn't completely taken in by Ellie's words.

That leads them to a dozen people and they end up with Kent. He's blind, but that's not what decides it. They claim that he wouldn't hallucinate the way Ellie did. That he has a unique perspective.

And, he's already proven himself steady and loyal.

He experiences it all the way that Ellie does, but something goes wrong on the other end. Maybe another terrorist attack. Maybe not. All he knows is that he's in the sphere and then, suddenly, he's floating, unable to find his footing until a great crash and he slams into the bottom of the machine.

He groans, pulling his helmet on with a grunt and a wince.

"Fuck this," he mutters, finding the edge of the sphere with his hands. There was a door there somewhere. He just - has to find it.

Comments

[getfeldsparred]

Feldspar hesitates, something they never used to do in their old life, before joining Lapis on the mossy rock next to the water.

“Yeah,” they mutter quietly. “I know.”

It was that way even before they left for that final trip.

[videointhenoise]

Lapis has collected a few rocks in hand and skips one across the rapids.

They offer another quietly to Feldspar.

[getfeldsparred]

Feldspar takes the flat stone and turns it about in their fingers. It’s strange - it’s only just now that they’ve realized how far away they’ve been from things like stone and water.

They don’t try to skip it, instead opting for tossing the stone casually into the water below.

[videointhenoise]

Lapis watches them. "You and Dad fighting?" he wonders.

There had been times in their young hatchling life, when Feldspar and Kent would argue over something or other.

They remember that with a little worry.

[getfeldsparred]

Feldspar freezes, then their shoulders and head fall in shame. Poor Lapis, of course they’re feeling caught in the middle of all of them. They move a little closer to the hatchling, now a good head taller than them, and put their arm around their back.

“No, we’re not fighting, pebble. Your dad’s just worried about me.”

[videointhenoise]

They lean against him with a sigh of something like relief. "Of course he is. He's been worried forever."

[getfeldsparred]

Lapis may be bigger and possibly stronger than they are, but they still try to shoulder most of their weight as they lean on them.

The exhale through their nose as they listen to the banjo and soft flute in the distance, “What was it like when I was gone for you and your dad?”

[videointhenoise]

Kent told them stories. Lapis knows that. So they try and tell Feldspar the truth.

"It was bad. He stayed at the radio for weeks. Hal and I were still going between houses, then. But we didn't go to Dad's because he never came home."

They breathe in. "And when he did, he let me and Hal sleep in the bigger bed and he stayed in mine. He didn't sleep. And when they eventually decided to have a funeral...he didn't come. He and Hornfels really got into it about that."

[getfeldsparred]

As painful as it is to hear, Feldspar knows it a lot more accurate picture than the one Kent painted for them. He’s said he never believed they were dead, but the truth is the long nights on the radio and the refusal to move on was damaging to him. And Feldspar did that to them, the person they loved beyond measure. They tormented him because they couldn’t keep their feet on the ground.

“Everyone else was more realistic about it,” they say quietly. “Your dad’s told me that he never moved on, but that doesn’t come without a price. I was gone…”

They trail off, sitting back slightly to look Lapis up and down. “Hatchling, you’ve been in the Dark Bramble a hundred times, you know how the time in there works. Or doesn’t, I guess. How many years was I gone?”

[videointhenoise]

They don't hate Feldspar for what happened. A part of them is inside of Lapis, too, and they know it. That need to get out and explore...that's Feldspar.

But they watched their dad go through it for years, and they know exactly how long.

"Seven years," he says softly.

[getfeldsparred]

Feldspar leans back on their arms and stares up towards the circling river overhead. Seven long years. Hatchings and deaths and sap wine ceremonies and launches and all that life in between.

“I never thought I’d come back. I think…I must have told you that during one of those loops.”

[videointhenoise]

"It doesn't matter," they assure them. "You're telling me now and that's more important." They nudge him gently with their shoulder. "But you didn't come back. Not really. We all went...somewhere else together."

They let out a breath. "Do you want to see something?"

[getfeldsparred]

Lapis has a point that it’s all uncharted territory - they’ve gotten wise, like their dad But it is still important, because they need Lapis to know why they don’t understand what to do with themselves now that it looks like they might have a future.

It’s not that they didn’t want this, or that they didn’t miss them all so much. It’s all Feldspar being Feldspar.

They look up at Lapis and nod. “Yeah, of course.”

[videointhenoise]

Lapis stands up and waits for them before they start back along the river. "It's a little bit of a walk. Tell me if you need a break."

[getfeldsparred]

They almost protest - they’re Feldspar, they won’t need a break - but the lie dies in their throat before they try it on their own hatchling of all people. “Alright,” they nod, shuffling along after them.

“You must know this place really well.”

An innocent remark, nothing too probing, that tried and true Kent method.

[videointhenoise]

Unfortunately, Lapis has heard it from Kent for a long time. Still, they aren't upset by it. They appreciate it.

"I've been almost everywhere on it. Twenty two minutes at a time," they say softly and the can't help how their gaze falls to the strange device near the broken dam.

[getfeldsparred]

Feldspar doesn’t need to follow their gaze to know what they’re looking at.

“So you must know a lot about the former inhabitants.”

[videointhenoise]

"Almost nothing!" they say with a laugh. "I - learned what I could. But they have a hidden archive."

[getfeldsparred]

What?

“Not that you can probably answer there, but why would a species need a hidden archive?”

[videointhenoise]

"It's not hidden to them! They all have access to it. Or - had."

They wince a little. "It's complicated. They came here looking for the Eye of the Universe, like the Nomai. But then they found out the truth and - left."

[getfeldsparred]

“And what’s the truth?”

From listening to Lapis and some of the others, they’ve pieced together the Nomai’s story and their search for this signal that was older than the universe itself. Beyond that? Everyone had been silent, including Lapis.

[videointhenoise]

"That to interact with the Eye is the...end of all things," they say softly, brushing a hand across a tree as they pass.

[getfeldsparred]

Feldspar stops in their tracks - or rather, stumbles over themselves and then stops walking forward. They hurry and grab Lapis’ sleeve, holding them back from taking another step.

“Lapis, stop, stop a minute.” They stare back at them and their too-tired eyes, wondering if their little hatchling had seen The End. “What does that mean exactly? The end of the universe?”

[videointhenoise]

"I don't know," they say as they turn around, hurrying back to help Feldspar sit if they need to. "I mean, I've - been to the sixth location on the quantum moon but - that's not really the same."

[getfeldsparred]

“Lapis, you’re smart. Smarter than me definitely, and maybe even smarter than your dad. What do you think will happen at the eye of the universe? Does the entire universe just end? Is that what these aliens were afraid of?”