Pagan/Huaisang

[crab_rangoon]

"Ah! No, no. I don't need to send the messenger. Just let me go," he tells the guards at the gates, waving them away as he walks straight through with his sword at his side, his entourage behind him. They walks in with their white robes, though Pagan is in red and black, and he breathes in the Impure Realm. He hasn't been here since the death of the Nie clan leader, but he's been aiming to check on their newest leader. It's been a dark time for them, for all of them, but he still feels more than a twinge of affection for the boy.

Well, man. He's been a man for several years now, but it doesn't seem like anything has changed.

Still, he promised he'd continue to offer support, so he walks on, ignoring the protests of the guards.

Comments

[threedontknows]

“You wouldn’t make your strongest ally sleep on the floor. That would disrespect the ghost of my father.”

He sets his fan and talisman paper down onto the table and picks up a corner of the furs to help Min Pagan arrange the bed.

[crab_rangoon]

"The things I've done to disrespect your father number in the thousands," he remarks with a playful sort of laugh, retrieving the second set of furs just as the wind picks up. "Get in. Tell me if it's warm enough."

[threedontknows]

Nie Huaisang quickly picks up on the implications of that, and wrinkles his nose. He's smart enough to keep his mouth shut though and does as Pagan says, crawling into the furs and immediately feeling that all-encompassing warmth. It's perfect, though in true Nie Huaisang fashion he lets out a little shiver. "Could be warmer."

[crab_rangoon]

Pagan reaches over and brushes his fingers along his cheek just before he slips into bed with him. "Better?"

[threedontknows]

He shivers again, though not from the cold, and waits with baited breath for Pagan to get into the bed with him. He bunches the furs around his shoulder and peers across the bed at him, nodding slowly. "Better," he says quietly, and inches forward.

"Help me with the braids in my hair?" he asks, turning over to let Pagan have access to the piled braids pinned to his head.

[crab_rangoon]

"Are you certain?"

He raises his eyebrows a little. He knows the significance of those braids, and he won't touch them unless Huaisang truly does want him to.

[threedontknows]

He sits up slowly, loose-fitting tunic sliding off one shoulder. He nods; he can’t sleep with his hair pinned to his head, and more importantly, he wants him to.

He turns again and waits patiently. “Just try not to lose the pins. They’re made of jade.”

[crab_rangoon]

Pagan reaches up to undo the plaits, deft fingers along each one of them, pulling the pins out and setting them delicately to the side, on a low table beside them. "I'll get you ones made of ivory," he murmurs.

[threedontknows]

“Ivory,” repeats Nie Huaisang, closing his eyes as he feels Pagan’s fingers in his hair. He hasn’t had someone braid his hair since Mingjue.

“Do you intend to keep spoiling me? Showering me with lovely gifts?”

[crab_rangoon]

"Yes," he says, finishing undoing a braid as he slides his hands along his shoulders. "Do you intend to continue accepting them? It has been a very long time since I have met someone who appreciates beauty the way I do. I want to encourage it. And - " his breath hitches slightly. "I enjoy seeing you happy."

[threedontknows]

Nie Huaisang tilts his head slightly in consideration. He does enjoy the pretty gifts, but more than that he enjoys the attention.

“Only if we acknowledge what the gifts mean,” he replies quietly. “Are you trying to court me, A-gan?”

[crab_rangoon]

"Will you let me?"

He presses a soft kiss to his shoulder as the storm picks up outside.

[threedontknows]

Between the wind whipping the outside of the small hut and Pagan’s gentle kiss, Nie Huaisang feels like he’s the one flying away. He inhales sharply, loud enough for Pagan to hear.

“I’m not like my father and brother,” he warns him, bringing long, raven hair over one shoulder. “If you’re going to court me, you’ll need to do it properly, with the understanding that it’s all or nothing. I won’t be casually wooed.”

He can’t be. If Pagan wants to be with the real him, he’ll need to bring him into his confidence. It’s a terrifying thought, and if Pagan isn’t serious he could undo all those years of subterfuge. All that work, for nothing.

[crab_rangoon]

"I'm not courting the Headshaker or your brother or your father. I never courted them."

It wasn't ever anything done with intention.

This is intention. Another braid down and he ghosts a kiss on his bared neck.

[threedontknows]

That was the implication, that he hadn’t courted his brother or father, just had an affair with them and left the romance aside. Nie Huaisang doesn’t want that - he’s had his share of anonymous dalliances, but he was always putting on an act.

If Pagan wants the real him, which apparently he does, it has to be worth it.

“But you want that with me,” he says quietly, glancing back at him.

[crab_rangoon]

Pagan hums softly, taking down another pin and setting it aside. He combs his fingers through his long hair.

"I wouldn't have invited you here otherwise. This is my sanctuary, my refuge."

[threedontknows]

His eyes slip shut and he exhales softly, letting the feeling of Pagan’s fingers in his hair relax him.

“I want it too,” he admits quietly. It hurts to want these days, but he can’t help himself.

[crab_rangoon]

"I know something of the masks we wear to fool ourselves and others. You need not have that with me, A-Sang."

He places another kiss on his shoulder, on his neck. "I have known loss."

[threedontknows]

“Unbearable loss,” he agrees quietly, and with deep sympathy. His father and brother were destined to die at some point, but a child?

His hand raises and he reaches slightly behind him to cup Pagan’s head. “You’re asking me to put my trust in you. It’s more than I ever gave Da-ge when he was alive.”

[crab_rangoon]

"Your brother is not me," he says, leaning his head on his shoulder a moment. "I am not your brother. I do not have his steadfast heart. I do not have his morals. I have a sword, power, and a vast amount of gold. Enough that I can shun the rest of the world and still maintain my status."

[threedontknows]

“You have a good life,” he reminds him. “You worked hard to build something from your grief. Are you certain you want me to be a part of your world?”

[crab_rangoon]

"Yes."

He finishes the last braid and sits back, trailing his hands along his shoulders. "I kissed you in the atrium because I wanted to know. Not because I am some lecherous old man," he says with a curl of a smile.

"And you showed me then. And with the tiger - you were firm and compassionate and strong."

He slides an arm around his waist. "I have missed a compassionate touch, it's true, but i want you to be happy."

[threedontknows]

This time Huaisang doesn’t try to pull away from him. He leans back into his arms and lets his hair fall over his shoulders, the strain on his scalp immediately easing.

“You are a lecherous old man, Pagan-ge,” he corrects him, smirking softly. “But I’m not repulsed by it. You and I are a lot alike, I’ve always known that.”

[crab_rangoon]

As Huaisang leans back, Pagan holds him closer, pressing kisses along his neck. "We are. But if you are not repulsed, then surely you are attracted? Show me, A-Sang. I can keep you warm here or the blankets can. Which does you prefer?"

[threedontknows]

“I’d prefer both,” he tells him, because of course he’s still a little spoiled. He twists his head with a coquettish smile, the rest of him slowly following as he practically settles himself in his lap. He presses his hands against his chest and tilts his head back, inviting the kiss this time.