TMA!Jacobi and Jon

[mrballisticsdummy]

"Are you sure this is the place?" he asks the driver, who was already speeding off, leaving Jacobi in front of the old building.

"Thanks for your help!" he calls out with false cheer, rolling his eyes before trudging his way up to what he had been told was the Magnus Institute. He doesn't even flinch at the screech of tires that comes from blocks behind him. He doesn't have to see the car erupt into flames as a very confused driver crawls out and phones for help. That's chaos for someone else.

Instead, he takes the steps up, backpack on his shoulder. He had flown all the way out here, so it's not as if he's going to be missing any leads. Besides. He has an appointment.

The closer to the door he gets, the more uncomfortable he feels about this. It's like a whisper of wind against his skin, a suggestion of something dangerous, but Jacobi's never let something like that bother him. He walks through, hands in his pockets.

Comments

[epistemological]

"I am really going to insist you keep your heart in you, yes," he says gently, more gently then he's spoken before.

[mrballisticsdummy]

"Is that a requirement forever or if I come back tomorrow, will you change your mind?"

He tries to laugh, but it's hollow. "Why do you even care this much?"

[epistemological]

"I'm afraid I won't change my mind," he says as he peers over at Jacobi. Then he breathes out. "And I care because... because..."

A glance.

"Will you believe the real answer or do you only want the selfish part?"

[mrballisticsdummy]

"I will listen to the real answer, yeah," he says, unable to promise belief. It takes a lot for him to believe anything anymore.

[epistemological]

"The first part," he says with a faint dip of his head, "is selfish. I don't think it's fair that you'd get to continue on, not feeling the pain after having lost people when I'm stuck still feeling it."

Being honest here, okay?

"And there's another part of me that feels as if it's only fair that we have to live with our hearts, with our pain, if we're going to be as we are, if we're going to- well, to feed our patrons no doubt harming others."

His shoulders drop a little.

"...but I also happen to like you and it seems like you're the first person I've just... enjoyed talking to since I died and then woke up from a coma and I don't want to lose that."

[mrballisticsdummy]

The selfish answer makes a whole lot more sense than the rest. He doesn't even want to think too hard on what is fair. He wants to thibk even less about someone enjoying his company.

He puts his hand to the coffee cup, but it steams, boils, and he shakes his head, curls falling in his face.

"Fuck that. Fuck what's fair? Do you know what's fair? I don't go through all the shit I went through just to come home with nothing. That would be fair. You didn't go through all the shit you went through, just to be standing here. That would be fair."

[epistemological]

"And-" he continues, his tone very quiet, "I... I genuinely think it will only make things worse for you. Only make things harder for you."

He looks over at Jacobi and without fear, he'll reach over and put a hand on his shoulder.

"It would only leave you more hollow. More lost. You won't understand why you're constantly, desperately needing to destroy, to consume, to rip and tear and hurt, but even then, it won't make you feel better."

[mrballisticsdummy]

He's warm to the touch. Exceptionally so. That doesn't change, but he does look up to him.

"So if nothing will make it better, then why is this existence of knowing any more desirable, hm?"

He stands up, moving away from his hand as he grabs his backpack.

"I have an appointment with a very short building with a very big, important basement."

But he does pause, tapping his fingertips against the straps. "I'll be back tomorrow."

As uncomfortable as it makes him, he likes being here. He likes being around him. He's not willing to give that up.

[epistemological]

Jon won't say 'I just told you what made it better' because he doesn't think Jacobi missed what he said. He just thinks it'll take a little time to filter in. But he'll nod and let him go.

"We're not going anywhere..."

[mrballisticsdummy]

The problem is that Jacobi doesn't yet see it as better. He doesn't see it as equal.

But he's already gone.

The news reports later about renovation work gone wrong at the site of a very boring sounding office space. The entire building collapsed in on itself. No one was hurt. No one was killed. It had happened after hours, so it was simply deemed a very unfortunate accident and the news moved along.

Jacobi, as promised, shows up the next day, waltzing inside as if invited.

[epistemological]

Jon isn't very good about keeping up with the news. Most of the day is spent in the Archives, sorting through to try and gain understanding, with the occasional... field trip. Such as today, which is why Jacobi will waltz in to find that Jon is not there at the entrance. At least not for another minute or so before he slips in right after Jacobi, the scent of smoke doing nothing to hide that he both looks exponentially better in health and feels a great deal more... 'spooky'.

"Ah. You're back."

[mrballisticsdummy]

For the first thirty seconds, he waits. Then he wanders, thinking maybe being nosy will summon him.

That does seem to work, at least to hos perception, and he whirls around with a roll of his eyes, unconsciously shuddering at his presence. But -

"Hm. You smell good," he comments. "Where have you been?"

As if they're old friends.

[epistemological]

"Out," he says quietly as he locks the door behind him, making his way over to Daniel and he doesn't seem to be ignoring that familiarity. If anything, he seems as if he's happy for it.

"Getting a bite for myself. What about you?"

[mrballisticsdummy]

"I had a great night, thank you for asking."

He follows along beside him. "Didja see it?" he asks, sidling up to him, clearly also in a much better mood than before.

[epistemological]

He looks at Daniel and he knows he shouldn't, but he can't help it, not buzzing like he is.

"No. Tell me about it."

[mrballisticsdummy]

"So the company that I worked for? The ones who shot me into space and killed my friends? They have a lab here. I don't know much except that they aren't doing what they're telling people they're doing. You know, like most evil corporations. So I snuck into their secret basment and blew the whole thing up!"

And he adds, because he can guess that this sort of thing matters to Jon:

"Did it with zero casualties."

[epistemological]

Right in that moment, how much he cared is... hard to say. But he seems satisfied by the telling of it, and he'll gesture towards the kitchen where they'd been the last time.

"You came back to tell me about it?"

[mrballisticsdummy]

"No, I came back because I told you I'd come back. I told you about it because it's exciting and somehow that fucking matters."

[epistemological]

"It does," he says and there's a brightness to his eyes that wasn't there a moment ago. Then he's ushering him. "I'm glad you came back, though. I... I would have been concerned, otherwise."

Basira still isn't back, after all.

[mrballisticsdummy]

"About little old me?"

He walks in, hands in his pockets. "I can take care of myself. But you? You're in here like a hermit by yourself."

[epistemological]

"Actually," he says with a gesture to the rest of the building, "there's a former member of the Piper's fellows here, an avatar of the Flesh being hidden somewhere, specifically by the Distortion's new skin. Not to mention our leader who is an avatar of the Lonely, not that we've ever met him."

"But they all avoid me."

[mrballisticsdummy]

Jacobi wrinkles his nose.

"You just hide them here and you don't know where it is. Gross and disturbing. Anyway, being avoided is the same as being alone. So, for real, where did you go? You heard about my night!"

[epistemological]

He pauses.

"...I do have needs. I was... attending to them."

And he'll start leading the way down to the Archives this time. He's made a decision, as insane as it is.

"You fed your patron, and I... handled mine."

[mrballisticsdummy]

"Handled. That's one way to put it, I guess."

He trails dutifully along behind. "So where are we going? Gonna give me my knife now?"

[epistemological]

"No one was killed during my business either, if it matters," he says as he keeps leading him, down this time. "And no, I'm not giving you the knife."

He glances back.

"Why did you think I was going to give it to you now?"